


6960

by kalothetic



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Background ships if you squint, Comedy attempt, Fake Dating, I don't know how it works so I winged it, I get possessed by the spirit of a dedicated JunP, Jun be like "hobby: sarcasm", M/M, Natsujun are dumbasses, Valentines day gift for the loml, as a professional clown I should be funnier than this, congratulations to me founder of the Natsujun tag on ao3, could also be seen as a Jun character study??, creative freedom with the concept of the law, everytime I write about this boy, half of them are ooc I can feel it, in the name of literature, light angst in a few paragraphs??, lots of sarcastic banter between Natsujun, my switchP n edenP is showing aye, nagisa is moral support, not beta read I believe in myself, probably not that noticeable, read Wonder Game pls, set after Wonder Game by God knows how long, set in ! era bc hhh, the law isn't real anyway Amen, there is an obligatory 'there was only one bed' scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:14:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29421417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalothetic/pseuds/kalothetic
Summary: After a situation that poked at Natsume's pride more than he'd like to admit, Natsume and Jun end up having to fake date their way through a collab between Eden and Switch.
Relationships: Ran Nagisa/Tomoe Hiyori, Sakasaki Natsume/Sazanami Jun, others if u squint - Relationship
Kudos: 6





	6960

**Author's Note:**

  * For [empvthy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/empvthy/gifts).



> Happy Valentine's Day Kira!! I love you so so much, here's the Natsujun I promised you a while ago,, it took a lot of patience to save it till Valentines ;; I hope you like it!

Love. 

A simple four letter word, yet it holds meaning beyond what the alphabets could put together. The dictionaries describe it in simplified terms as 'an intense feeling of deep affection', it seems easy enough to understand through the minds logical comprehension but unfortunately it does not convert it from thoughts to feelings and transfers it down to the heart; the place where love is supposed to be understood. 

He relied on his mind more than his heart in his life and after all he's seen he feels like it should remain that way, he's showed his heart to some people but all they did was contribute to him turning it off and locking it away somewhere their words and actions can't reach and affect anymore because they're undeserving of his inner purity. He wants to believe he longer feels the carvings of pain etched onto his soul from experiences no one should have gone through, with people logically he should not have received it from, but luck was never on his side and it seems he's been forsaken a long time ago. 

Logic. 

That's something he can get behind. 

He's relied on it longer than anything else considering it stems from his mind and not his heart, which he would like to pretend isn't there. 

He's good at using his brain. He can analyze people's actions, he can dig deep and read between the lines when he targets something, he can process information quick and act accordingly, he doesn't disappoint himself when it comes to it. His mind doesn't disappoint him the way his heart does. It doesn't go and make him feel all sorts of emotions he doesn't want to and sting his eyes with tears when he should he standing with his head high and expression cold. It doesn't make him feel his stomach twisting at suddenly hearing something he didn't want to or receiving treatment he doesn't deserve. 

However, it disappoints him in a different way. He doesn't know what a silver lining is, he's never experienced. He can't have a good thing fully, there always has to be a dark cloud raining on his parade. There's a price he pays for how much he relies on his brain's power, as if it's punishing him for neglecting his heart and feelings. 

Thoughts that start out intelligent and analytical and logical slowly start spiraling down into a deep darkness that swallows him and his sense of rationality like a black hole. 

He overthinks. 

Way more than he should. Way more than anyone should. Way more than necessary. Way too painful, awfully annoying.

See, the logical part of him knows it's all just a bunch of bullshit and he needs to stop, but the part of his brain that sides with his neglected heart and punishes him for his ignorance and pathetic human nature tells him it's all true and he simply doesn't want to believe it.

'no one actually likes you, who are you trying to fool? Yourself? You can't even fool yourself, how will you fool anyone else?'. 

'you're a burden to them. To everyone. Not even your own father loves you, not even your own mother cares about you. If your own flesh and blood don't want you, how will anyone else?'. 

'thought you were smart? Then how come you're stupidly believing blatant lies? You are so foolish, it's almost sad'.

Voices echoing and chanting in his head, the side effect of relying on his brain above all is giving it too much power and control over him. So much power and control that his mind manifests itself in the form of dark shadows across the empty rooms and lunges towards him to choke the air out of his lungs, to drag him down to the depths of hell and burn him in the name of retribution.

A beast his eyes betray him and see, something like a monster with jet black eyes and a dozen row of teeth that wants him torn to pieces yet the pain of its mere existence more powerful than anything he could feel even if it were to sink all those sharp fangs into him and devour him.

Understanding.

He understands.

He understands... 

He understands!

He understands, goddammit!!

He will choose to pride himself in his understanding whether it's there or not. He'll choose to believe he can understand the motives and reasons of others, that he understands why his father did what he did and why his mother reacted the way she did and why that lousy and sad excuse of an idol did what he did and why everyone hurt him the way they did, he'll choose to believe he does because it's the only thing that keeps him sane, the only grip he has left on his reality and his sanity. If he creates reasons from his own mind and pins it on others, disguising it as actual understanding and true motives he'll make himself feel better and he'll stop feeling like he's the wrong one and he's the one at fault and that his entire existence has no other pathetic purpose than to get dragged through every puddle of mud this world has and then punished for it as well.

Understanding...

He understands.

He understands everyone. He understands everything.

But no one understands him.

Love.

A pathetic feeling he's never received, a pathetic feeling he no longer wants to receive, a pathetic feeling he's certain he will never receive.

He's fine as he is. Him and his own self, there are no rules to how he'll live his life and he's broken free of the chains, he's alright and he doesn't need something as feeble as love, and empty promises, and the warmth of another humans soul touching his.

Lies.

He lies a lot.

To others? Yes.

To himself?

... Yes.

He lies. A lot. It's a defense mechanism at this point. He doesn't need love. He's fine as he is. They have reasons he understands. He'll be fine as he is.

All lies.

The truth is locked away in the same black box his heart is inside of. No one needs to reach it. Locked it, sealed it, and swallowed the key. No one needs to see it.

Life is exhausting. He's exhausted. No matter how he tries to idealize himself and pretend he's above others and is a higher being who doesn't need to waste his time with humans and their miserable activities and feelings like friendships and relationships and family bonds (and oh God, the worst one of all, being happy and having fun. Disgusting??) there are times where he'll feel like he's been reduced to nothing but a puddle on the floor, limbless and brainless and unable to move or defend himself as he surrenders slowly to the vengeance of his heart and the wrath of his ignored emotions. He's human. He's human and he has human needs. He can lie to himself in an attempt to feel better and pretend he's okay without ever finding someone who will understand him and love him as he is, who wouldn't search for his perfection and instead pick up all the broken pieces and put them back together patiently, not rushing him to refinement the way he's been his entire life (yet he still feels worthless and inferior to all) but he can't escape the crave he feels for such a thing.

He sees others together, happily.

He sees Nagisa and Hiyori.

An example of two of the people closest to him.

He knew them when they were friends, and he knew them when they became more. He saw the affections Nagisa receives from Hiyori, although Nagisa himself isn't what most would deem ideal or perfect, Hiyori loves him unconditionally regardless of his flaws. He's even grown to love those flaws, because Hiyori is in love with the idea of love and he's in love with the feeling of love, of giving and receiving, of affection and kindness, of two souls uniting to form one. When he loves he gives his all.

Jun knows.

He's been on the receiving end of Hiyori's love, multiple times before.

At first he found it annoying. Hiyori is far too loud and far too clingy and far too affection (and far too bossy and God does he have an attitude that brings countless migraines) and Jun didn't need any care or love or affection or understanding or friendships or anything! He doesn't need anything, he doesn't need anyone! He's been alone and he'll stay alone! He's fine, this is fine, he's fine!

But one more thing about Hiyori is that he's persistent, he's determined, and he doesn't like being denied. What he wants, he gets.

Eventually, Jun gave up trying to escape Hiyori or put limits to his behaviour, as Eve, there's only so much time he can spend away from Hiyori.

Jun didn't trust Hiyori instantly. As much as the other boy seemed to wear his heart on the outside and display all his feelings openly, Jun didn't want to fall for it.

He didn't want to be a victim again.

It's been a long time since that, and Jun had let his walls crumble in the presence of Hiyori far too many times now to keep lying to himself and say he doesn't trust (and maybe even appreciate a little) the other boy, he's seen too much of Jun to be let loose out in the wild now.

So maybe Jun has given into a human desire or two, and got in touch with his humanity again. It didn't go much further than an awkward handshake and a pat on the shoulder, but it's progress. He thinks.

However, he still can't find complete fulfillment.

He's still lost and confused. Does he love Hiyori? He doesn't know. Does he feel loved by Hiyori? Maybe, he's not sure. He can't be sure of what Hiyori's feelings are or what his own are when he doesn't know what love is past a bunch of words placed together to make it seem easier to digest, he doesn't know what it is because he's gone his whole life not experiencing it. Hiyori is the first person he even knew what true kindness is from, how can he be expected to know about love when he didn't even know about kindness?! He felt like he was being played by Hiyori far too many times, his trust issues working overtime in the presence of the boy who seemed to have more love to give than a human should that it felt fake, an act to trick Jun into giving in and letting his guard down only to be hit with reality that he was never truly loved yet again and abandoned by Hiyori, stranded in an ocean of a pain all too familiar that he spent his entire life building up shields to battle against. He's had nightmares about this shit and woke up in cold sweat, a repeated image of Hiyori's true nature showing and backstabbing Jun, repeating to him words he's heard so many times before he's adopted them as a part of his personality at this point.

But it's been too long now. If Hiyori's true nature really was evil and he had hidden intentions, then he's had far too many chances to strike and ruin Jun by now, yet he didn't. There's nothing he could be waiting for. He has no ulterior motive, he genuinely loves Jun as much as he shows.

Jun had a really hard time coming to accept that. The fact that someone could hold so much love and shamelessly flaunt it, giving it to almost everyone without fearing hurt in return.

But then again, Hiyori is strong. He wouldn't let anyone hurt him, he knows how to fight back and put limits to his love without feeling pain.

He's a good person.

Something Jun hasn't seen many of.

Fulfillment.

Something still feels missing.

Aside from his happiness and his hope for the future and his will to live and his childhood innocence and his happy backstory and his sanity and many, many more things; something else feels missing.

He doesn't know. He can't place his finger on it.

He feels a certain loneliness when he sees Nagisa and Hiyori together. Jealousy? Certainly not. He doesn't feel like he wants to be in Nagisa's place, or in Hiyori's. But a feeling that's almost like a sense of longing, yearning. As if he wants what they have.

That's funny.

Miserable and pathetic too.

He knew ever since he was a kid that in his life story, there is no love written for him. Not from a parent, not from a lover.

To love someone the way Hiyori and Nagisa love each other is to let the other person see your heart and soul naked. To see you crash down all the walls you spent your whole life building up. To give them the key to your heart, and permission to destroy you. To see your true nature and your reality, to see your flaws and your scars, and either heal them or deepen them.

It could either end up the best thing that ever happened to you, or the worst. It's a risk, and Jun was never one to step out of his comfort zone and inconvenience himself. Love is a not a gamble he's willing to make.

And besides, his circle of friends is almost as sad as he is. Who's gonna even be there to fall in love with, huh? Ibara?!

It's not as if love is going to shove itself in his face when he least expects it. He's not lucky, never has been, never will be.

So he's not going to place his hopes in a fairy-tale-like meeting that will land him in a relationship in which he wouldn't feel this way again.

That's unrealistic, that's unlikely, and it'll never happen.

And even if it did, it certainly would not, under any possible circumstances, happen to Jun Sazanami!   
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"I am in a relationshIP! I aM!"

"Mhm, sure you are Natsume-kun"

"Huhu, we definitely believe you Shishou~!"

"yOU- I'm being seriOUS!!"

Natsume does not like being treated like a child, but he doesn't help his case much when he ends up behaving like one.

It's not his fault, though! He refuses to be blamed! It's Tsumugi and Sora's fault, for sure!

Switch were together in the library, helping Tsumugi out with sorting some books and cleaning up (translation: they simply sat there and talked his ears off [extra translation: Sora talked as Natsume sat on his phone and played some game to pass time] as he did all the work himself, they are moral support and too pretty to be cleaning up books like a bunch of grandmas) when Sora brought up the topic of crushes. It caught Natsume's attention enough to put his phone away and Tsumugi to accidentally drop three books on his feet. Natsume asked what's with the suddenness, and Sora explains that he feels like he has a crush on someone but he's not sure, so he figured he'd ask his senpais about it.

He wouldn't admit who his crush is, he kept going around in circles and dodging their questions by countering them with other questions. He wasn't going to say anything until he's sure of his feelings, but it was kind of hard considering how clueless both his senpais seem right now.

When Sora asked them what love is supposed to feel like, they both just kind of blanked out for a minute.

Tsumugi stutters more than he actually speaks as he tries to explain basic stuff like the typical 'you feel your heartbeat faster and butterflies in your stomach and you wanna be with them at all times and want to make them happy blah blah blah', Sora kind of zoned out after the first few words. Tsumugi proved to be useless in this topic but that did not come as a surprise for Sora because anyone who's seen Tsumugi can tell this boy has never been in a relationship (and it would be a genuine miracle if he ever makes it into one).

Natsume on the other hand hasn't given an answer yet, and Sora was kind of excited to see what Natsume had to say about it because his flirty behaviour and confident demeanor tells Sora Natsume definitely has experience in this area!

His color on the other hand is screaming 'MAYDAY MAYDAY, ABORT MISSION, I REPEAT, ABORT MISSION???'. Sora has Natsume figured out before he can even speak and he couldn't help the smile that spread on his face as he realized not even his suave master has fallen in love before.

"I-.. Well.. You see, soRA-"

"Shishou~ your color is all nervous and messy! You've really never been in a relationship before, huh?"

In a split second, Natsume's face couldn't be told apart from his hair as it flared up red. "Wh-WhAT?! No, nO! I definitely have beEN!" the last thing Natsume wanted was to appear uncool in the eyes of his beloved Sora, who's relying on him right now for advice about a crush, Natsume would rather Tsumugi drops dead right now than not give a proper answer and help out his junior as the reliable senpai he most certainly is.

"Haha! Shishou's colors keep changing, it's kind of funny! Are you okay, Shishou?"

Natsume wanted to speak again but today must be National Bully Natsume Day as Tsumugi turned to look at him with a stupid smile on his face. "Aww, even Natsume-kun has never experienced the wonders of love! I don't know how I'd react if one day someone came and stole my precious Natsume-kun's heart... I'd feel so lonely without you!" 

If there was a book within arms reach right now, Tsumugi would have needed a new pair of glasses.

"It's okay, you know! It gives us more time to be prepared for when Shishou does fall in love, we'll start teasing him from the very beginning~!"

Today was not working in Natsume's favor. Before Tsumugi could get his own two cents in, Natsume stands up and slams his hands down on the table. "I am in a relationshIP! I aM!".

And that's how he ended up in his current situation. Desperately trying to convince them that he's not a loner nobody wants to date. He can't handle that feeling of shame, it chafes at his pride and boils up the familiar feeling of inferiority. It's strange, he has nothing to feel inferior over, neither Tsumugi nor Sora are in relationships either, he should be feeling like an equal instead. But somehow he felt like it didn't match him.

Sora and Tsumugi didn't seem to be buying any of what he was saying and simply played along to poke more fun at him, while he fumes more and more.

"Okay, we'll believe you if you prove it! What is this person's name?" Tsumugi said, attempting to put an end to this discussion despite how fun it was to see Natsume about to multiply from how angry and embarrassed he's gotten.

But that's exactly where Natsume mentally goes 'oh fuck'.

He did not think this far ahead, and now he feels like he's been slapped across the face. Natsume stared at Tsumugi, blinking stupidly a few times. He had to think of a name, and quick! It's not often his wits fail him, but he feels stunned right now and his brain is experiencing a short circuit. Brain currently under maintenance, please do not attempt to think until it is done, thank you for your patience.

He had to be careful with the name he chooses, because Tsumugi and Sora could easily go and ask.

"their name is... Is..." this was bad. This was bad, bad, bad!

Then almost as if God heard his prayers, and decided to send a knight in shining armor to his rescue. The door opened and he saw a familiar blue fill his vision. The person looked ready to ask a question, only their head peeking in.

"Sazanami-kUN!" 

Little did Natsume know that that was his first fuck up of many more to come in the following months, but he had also just started something neither of them will be able to forget.

Tsumugi and Sora, who had their attention on Jun when he walked in, instantly turned a hundred and eighty degrees to look at Natsume wide eyed when he said the other boys name. 

"You're dating Sazanami-kun?!" "Shishou's dating Sazanami senpai?!" the two members of Switch yelled out at the same time, shock evident in their faces and their voices. 

Natsume only then realized what he had done. He had called out the other boys name in acknowledgement and partial surprise to see the Reimei student at their library door. He could see Jun's confused expression and then it dawned on Natsume that this could work in his favor.

It's a stupid, and almost selfish thing to do, but he felt desperate and the chance is right in front of him, it'd be a pity not to take it now, wouldn't it?

He mustered his best confident expression as he started walking towards Jun slowly. "Why, yes I aM! Why else would he be here if not to see mE?" he exclaimed, hoping his voice didn't sound as weak to them as it did to him. Once he was in front of an even more confused Jun, his expression changed to something akin to a sorry plead, and he whispered to him. "listEN, I'm kind of in an embarrassing situatION, just play along for a littLE, okAY?" and although he'd never admit it out loud, everything in Natsume was hoping Jun doesn't freak out or get angry or push him away because that would be awkward. Very awkward. And hard to explain.

Jun looked at Natsume for a few seconds with a neutral expression before sighing. What's the worst that could happen, really? Hiyori freaks out, Ibara lectures, Nagisa doesn't care, that is of course the worst case scenario if the talk reaches Reimei and Shuuetsu, which he's certain it wouldn't. This was just as silly as a game of Truth or Dare and what happens in Yumenosaki stays in Yumenosaki, Jun guesses. "whatever" he muttered. Natsume took it as a 'yes' and a smile of relief spread across his face. "I owe you oNE" he said, hoping he doesn't have to actually repay him at one point because what he knows about Jun through their small interactions has him rather interested in what age he'd be exactly when he gets arrested. 

To be honest, Jun didn't care. If he was gonna deny Natsume he'd get both of them into an awkward situation and cause himself an unnecessary inconvenience that could be avoided if he just put on a fake smile and delivered the news quick enough then left. It's not worth the trouble, so he'll play along to spare himself a headache. He might not exactly consider Natsume on his list of Jun's Top Ten Best Friends but he can't say he dislikes the other boy enough to embarrass him like this. 

He seems to be doing enough of that for himself. 

Natsume turned around to face Tsumugi and Sora again ー this time feeling actually confident instead of faking it terribly ー and he wished he could take a picture of their expressions right now. Mouths hanging open and eyes wider than a dinner plate, it made Natsume feel sort of smug, as if he's won. 

"I- Oh dear.. I-" Tsumugi stumbles over his words, a feeling that isn't unfamiliar to someone who's felt too defeated to string together a sentence many times before, but right now he feels embarrassed too! He teased Natsume relentlessly only to find out the redhead was telling the truth this entire time! Some part of him also feels bad, he was so mean to his beloved leader and had not received a book slammed so hard into his face he could read it's paragraphs from the mirror, Natsume truly was such a kindhearted and forgiving person, as Tsumugi knew all along!

Sora on the other hand, wanted to believe this whole thing, but how could he when Natsume's colors are having a seizure (and it's on the verge of giving Sora a headache, really.) and Jun's colors are flashing neon confusion with a side dish of 'I'm so fuckin' tired, God your sense of humor is killing me'. He could tell Natsume walked into the wrong situation and tried to improvise, it was hard to lie to Sora and Natsume knew that very well, which is why he doesn't. But it wasn't only because Sora was a walking lie detector and can see the color of deception flash in alert everywhere if someone decides to take advantage of his naivety and play him like a fool, but also because he had no reason to lie to someone he loved so much. Sora was different from the rest. He does love Tsumugi, even if the only two situations he'd admit that in is Tsumugi on his deathbed due to natural causes and Tsumugi on his deathbed due to Natsume-causes that went a little further than expected, but with Sora he doesn't have to pretend.

Tsumugi clears his throat and tries his best to behave like a civilised almost-adult and not a baby trying to say his first word, as he stood up and put on his best (best by this situations standards) smile. "That was certainly an unexpected plottwist! Something that feels straight out of a book! I'm really sorry for teasing you like that Natsume-chan, and I'm sure Sora is too!"

Natsume glares daggers into Tsumugi's direction and grits his teeth at the nickname, and Tsumugi shudders when he meets Natsume's gaze. "Natsume-kun! I meant Natsume-kun!!" dear God don't let today be the last day in the life of a poor Aoba Tsumugi, there's so much debt he still hadn't payed off and would not like to do so between the fire of the ninth circle of hell.

Jun felt like he no longer existed, both to himself and to the two weirdos that seem to have an infinite supply of comebacks. Jun distracts himself by looking around the library, trying not to judge how little it is in comparison to the one at Reimei, before his eyes land on the small blonde one who hadn't moved an inch or spoken a word since Jun walked in. He was cute and innocent looking, but his gaze on Jun felt like he was looking right through him. Sora realizes he might have fell too deep in his thoughts and analysation of the other boy that his expression slipped into something almost accusatory, and put on his best smile, giving a little wave in the other boys direction. Natsume and Tsumugi's argument had faded into a blur in the background, a few particularly loud protests from Natsume serving as an echoing white noise, but neither Jun nor Sora were paying much attention to it. Jun waves back at him, weak and dead, but to be fair it was only out of politeness. He found something about the other boy unnerving.

Tsumugi's voice snaps Jun back to reality when he hears his name being called. "Hm?"

The other boy realizes Jun hadn't heard him and repeats his question, "aside from coming to see Natsume-kun, do you have any other business being here?"

Jun tried hard to suppress a laugh, because he couldn't wait for these 10 minutes to be over and this fake dating thing to be forgotten but as soon as he opens his mouth to explain the actual reason he arrived, realization dawns on him so quickly his expression turns from neutral to almost terrified.

Tsumugi tilts his head in confusion and Natsume turns to look at him in concern. Is spending 15 minutes with Switch really that bad?! They broke him!

Sora spoke up finally, "you seem scared?"

And Jun wouldn't call himself scared of course (he's too cool for that he fears nothing except Hiyori's whining) but he had a feeling of dread running down his back and worry twisting and turning in his stomach. He should have never agreed to help out Natsume, because-

"I.. Came here because they told me I'm most likely to find you three either in the video game club, or here..." he pauses, "Ibara is suggesting a collab between Eden and Switch.. Again."

And Jun could see Natsume turn pale at those words. What the fuck what the fuck What the actual FUCK does he mean?!?!

"Oh! I think that'd be a wonderful idea!" Tsumugi exclaimed, "but the decision is for our leader to make. What do you think Natsume-kun?"

What does Natsume think? Natsume thinks now would be a good time for the earth to open up and swallow him whole. He thinks he should slap someone, but he can't decide if it should be Ibara for the suggestion, Jun for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Tsumugi for speaking, Sora for bringing the topic of crushes up, or himself for being a prideful dumbass and a sore loser and landing himself and Jun in this situation.

Through grit teeth and a forced smile, Natsume spoke regretting every word, predictions screaming this is going to end so terrible for everyone involved. "I thiNK... It'd be A.. Good idEA... The fans seemed to like our past colLAB, it'd be good to give them another oNE..." he hated every word he spoke and he hated how his own voice sounded foreign to his ears. Small and unsure, almost weak.

Jun looks at Natsume, his expression unreadable (Jun always seems so unreadable for Natsume, he hates it! Why is he so hard to figure out?!) before sighing again. "Great. Expect him to get in contact with you soon to work out the details. See ya" he said, devoid of any possible enthusiasm, throwing a wave in Tsumugi and Sora's direction before his mind in a split second tells him to give Natsume a pat on the head before walking out, further helping the fake dating case. He managed to catch a glance of Natsume's shocked expression before walking out nonchalantly and closing the door behind him. Natsume stood there for a few seconds, it was such a simple gesture but one that someone like Jun wouldn't do to anyone unless he was close and comfortable with them, like you're supposed to be when in a relationship. Natsume was having a frustrating few seconds trying to process why Jun would want to help him further this fake dating thing instead of hating him for the situation and refusing to speak to him ever again?

Maybe he was just trying to save himself the embarrassment. Yeah. That was definitely the case, definitely not to help Natsume out of the goodness in his own heart, for sure!

Tsumugi's voice snaps Natsume out of his thoughts, "I bet Natsume-kun must be happy about this collab, huh? Sharing a stage with someone so dear... Must be why you agreed so quickly! You didn't even ask about the details or question why Switch would do such a thing!"

With every ring of Tsumugi's overly cheery voice in his ears, Natsume feels his self control slipping away more as he fights to urge to choke him. But that'd be too cruel and unfair, even for Natsume. Tsumugi doesn't know this whole situation was one big lie, his hearts in the right place. (maybe. Or maybe he was being a little shit. Either way, 'your tone felt off' is not a valid reason to smack somebody with a book. It might have been, a few months ago, but with how their relationship has been developing slowly Natsume has started taking more of Tsumugi's feelings into consideration). 

"Shishou isn't happy about this." is all Sora says before he gets up and walks towards the door, ignoring Natsume's stares and Tsumugi's questioning noises. Sora stops at the door with his hand on the knob and turns to look at Natsume, giving him an encouraging smile. "but Shishou is smart and strong! He can figure this out, it'll end well! Sora is certain!" he says, and Natsume could tell he's been figured out now, a sort of 'I knew it' smile spreading across his face as he watched Sora walk out of the library and close the door behind him, leaving him and Tsumugi alone.

Natsume sighs before he walks over the the cart full of books Tsumugi was working with earlier and starts helping arrange the books on their correct shelves, much to Tsumugi's surprise. To Tsumugi this entire situation looks like a sign of the apocalypse. Natsume has a secret boyfriend? Switch and Eden collabing again? Sora being cryptic? Natsume going through every emotion on the human spectrum before landing on 'nice person'? God, if Tsumugi is about to die, can he please reschedule it for a bit? He has to walk Natsume and Sora down the aisles at one point first!! 

Truly all what Natsume wanted was to distract himself from this whole situation and all he found in front of him were a bunch of books so he thought he might as well be useful. He's still having trouble processing the past 45 minutes, which felt like 10 hours for him.

He claimed to be in a relationship, and then dragged Jun into it as his boyfriend, and now Eden and Switch are going to collab which means his 5 minute long relationship now has gotten an extension, and Sora seems to have him figured out already. This wasn't looking good for him and he doesn't know how Jun is going to react. Would he want to keep going? Would he want to end it? Would he tell Natsume if he decides to end it or will he expect it to be common knowledge for Natsume and get weirded out if Natsume tries to do something? It's confusing.

He hopes their collab doesn't last too long because the sooner this is put to an end the better it is for Jun and Natsume, for Eden and Switch. 

He also hopes no one else finds out about this, because if they don't then there'll be less pressure on pretending to be a thing.   
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The door to the light music club room gets almost thrown off it's hinges when the unstoppable force that is Aoi Hinata in full excitement bursts through it and in a matter of seconds he's in the middle of the room, right in front of his twin and Koga, who were sitting next to each other with Koga on his guitar and Yuuta writing something (probably his left over homework, the atmosphere of the club room is peaceful when it's just Koga and Yuuta. Neither were much for small talk or getting distracted, so more often than not it's just the two of them there, sometimes joined by Rei napping in his coffin.). They both looked startled at the orange blur that practically manifested in front of them out of thin air, their expression changing quickly after realizing it's just Hinata. Yuuta's expression turning annoyed and Koga angry and ready to yell at Hinata, when Hinata spoke up before either one of them could.

"Did you guys hear the news?!" no, not really. Do they look like Aoi Hinata 2 and 3 to go around digging for gossip? Unless it makes it onto international news, they most likely haven't heard it. 

Yuuta sighed, he had to be the one to ask because if Koga opened his mouth Hinata was gonna get it. "what is it?"

"Sakasaki-senpai is dating Sazanami Jun from Eden!!"

"WHAT?!?!" both Yuuta and Koga were on their feet in a second, previous annoyance forgotten all about and replaced with shock. "WHO is dating WHO now?!" Yuuta grabbed his brother by the collar of his shirt and shook him. Hinata's smile remained the same, "you heard! Sakasaki-senpai is dating Sazanami Jun! Sora told me!... Although he also told me I should keep it a secret so.." he poked his tongue out "oops!" easing himself out of his brothers grip and taking a few steps back, he spoke again "I trust you two will keep the secret that I couldn't, though! See ya!" with a wink, he turned around and ran out, leaving the club room in silence as if he wasn't even there.

Yuuta and Koga were still standing there processing, gears physically moving inside their brains. They turned their heads to look at each other, almost as if confirming they both heard the same thing.

Then the sound of rustling from the corner of the room snapped them out of their trance, as they turned to look at the lid of the coffin opening and a tired self-proclaimed vampire pokes his head out. "What's with all this ruckus..?" he says, followed by a yawn. They completely forgot about him being there. 

Yuuta and Koga exchange a glance again, "Sakasaki-senpai is dating Sazanami-senpai?" Yuuta says, tone unsure as he still isn't certain if what he's heard was true or if he's just having a fever dream.

Rei looked at Yuuta for a few seconds, expression monotone, before turning to look at Koga the same way. He spent a few seconds looking back and forth between them before retreating into his coffin and closing the lid, deciding he'd rather continue his nap than spend energy trying to deal with whatever the hell this is.  
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So much for hoping nobody finds out about that.

By the next morning, the romance of Sakasaki Natsume and Sazanami Jun was the hottest topic at Yumenosaki academy.

Yuuta and Koga hadn't told anyone other than Rei, and Rei was still in denial, so they technically obeyed Hinata and didn't spread the word. Why would they when Hinata did such a good job on his own?

Natsume spent the whole time down in his secret library, not daring attend any classes, and only went into the video game research club room and the library through the shortcuts he's made around the school. He knew if he so much as made eye contact with another student he was going to get practically interviewed in some hallway and his introverted brain did not feel like talking details about a relationship that did not even exist.

This was too much already.

It also didn't help his case when he received a call from Ibara, thanking him for accepting the offer and inviting him to some nearby coffee shop to work out the details for the collab. Judging by Ibara's tone, he was either still blissfully unaware of Jun and Natsume's issue, or he was a good actor holding himself together on the phone call waiting until he sees Natsume in person to shoot him instead. Natsume would thank him for it, really.  
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The meeting left Natsume with a headache.

For starters, the entire stage wasn't even going to be in Tokyo. Ibara decided it'd be better to do it in Osaka. He said something about the fact that currently too many units are holding collabs in Tokyo, so to do it in a different state would result in more attention. Natsume had no objections to that much because Ibara has a point, he knew that if people were to choose between Switch/Eden or Fine/Trickstar, the decision would be obvious.

Ibara said the management team has already taken care of the hotel bookings and all the other details so Switch had nothing to worry about but putting their full effort into the live.

"and that's all I had to discuss with you regarding the performance and it's arrangements!" Ibara says, neatly putting away the papers that were spread across their table, making the place seem tidy again. Natsume barely offered any of his own suggestions or even protested against something, he was mostly listening and nodding as Ibara went on and on about all sorts of different things they could do and how he plans to go about it, but Natsume didn't expect himself to deny any of Ibara's suggestions from the start anyway, he's seen how the other boy plans things and how Wonder Game went, aside from an evil side dish, he's pretty good at what he does.

Natsume is still skeptical of Ibara after his last trick, and he hopes there's no evil side dish this time, he can't imagine there should be one. Especially since the meeting is over now and everything is set in stone and Ibara hadn't brought up the topic of-

"Ah, yes. Now onto the matter I wanted to save for last!"

Oh God.

"I've heard about your situation with Jun"

Oh Fuck.

"and I think we can use it to our advantage"

Oh Jolly Fuck this is one cursed Wednesday.

Of course, the side dish of evil is finally served.

Ibara went on to explain the details of how exactly they can turn the tables around in their favor, saying that it'd be a smart choice to go public with this fake relationship as the fanservice would without a doubt give both Eden and Switch more attention. Ibara talked about the fact that this is what the fans are into these days and explains how the more fanservice a unit does ー whether with each other or towards their fans ー the more their popularity increases, mentioning how it's part of the reason why fanservice units such as Eden or Knights receive so much attention while the more professional and distant units like Valkyrie don't. 

Natsume knew that much at least so it wasn't like Ibara was giving him any new information, he just didn't want his little white lie to become a national thing now. Does Ibara understand what he's saying? Going public with a relationship, that isn't even real, would mean offering more fanservice. Which means holding hands and going on dates and hugging and posting selfies together and oh God he doesn't even want to think about kissing... 

Not that if given the opportunity he'd deny kissing Jun. After all, Jun is rather good looking, but this is not the situation he'd want to be in for such a thing to happen. Natsume likes to keep things private, so if he really was in a relationship he wouldn't want to go public with it and shove it in everyone's face, how is he expected to want to do that with a fake one? 

Ibara however seemed persistent about it, saying that this is the perfect opportunity for it and even thanking Natsume for bringing up such a thing that Ibara could not have thought of. He said that considering Eden and Switch will be sharing a stage now and a lot of time together, it's a chance served on a silver platter to pull their fans in with fanservice they could provide during this collaboration and it'd make them stand out the most compared to all the other units doing collabs right now. They'd be the center of attention which is the first step to gaining both units extra popularity.

Natsume argued about why Ibara should even care, Eden has enough popularity as it is, is he really that greedy?

Ibara replies that there's no such thing as too much popularity in the idol industry, and strikes a nerve when he mentions Switch's rather small fanbase. Ibara was a snake without a doubt, he knew exactly how to pull the strings with a kind smile on his face and have Natsume say yes as if hypnotised to whatever evil plan he's cooking up without making himself out to be the bad guy that can be held accountable if something goes wrong. Natsume almost admires that about him.

"what do you say?" Ibara extends a hand forward for Natsume to shake upon agreement, his smile remaining the same. 

Natsume stares at him with a glare. This is a big risk he's taking, but before Natsume could say anything, a thought strikes him.

"Does Sazanami-kun know about tHIS?" Natsume doesn't want to say he cares about whether or not Jun would actually agree to this, but it'd be rather awkward if Jun woke up on a fine Friday and saw articles of his nonexistent relationship all over the internet. Day ruined. Week ruined. Life ruined.

Always prepared for any question he could receive and having an answer prepared, Ibara's smile widened. "Certainly! He agreed to it without even putting up a fight! I had went to him earlier today and told him 'how would you feel if we took advantage of your situation with Natsume-kun and went public with it?' and he replied with 'I don't give a fuck', so rest assured both sides are equally pleased!"

That sounds like Jun enough. Well.. Since Jun agreed, it'd look bad on Natsume's end if he were to deny. He feels like he has no choice, and he only hopes this doesn't hurt his pride as much as he predicts it will. Natsume takes one last glance at Ibara's still-extended hand and sighs in defeat, putting his own hand in it and giving a firm shake.

"I am very pleased to see we are on the same page now!" Ibara said, as he started collecting his file holders and putting them into his bag. 

"Do you have any questions, before I leave?" Natsume looked at Ibara when he realized he was still there and addressing him. "Why would I have aNY? Did we not work out all the detaILS?" 

"Well, yes, but you never know what minor issues could arise that you could feel confused about!" 

Natsume frowns, "There aren't any right nOW, thank yOU". 

"Hm. What about in the future? I would like this to be go smoothly" 

Natsume resists the urge to groan or roll his eyes at Ibara, frustration rising in him. "I have your phone number Ibara-kUN, I can call you if I have any problEMS." 

Ibara nods, still looking deep in thoughts. "Do you have Jun's?" 

Natsume was going to groan for real this time when he stopped himself as he realized Ibara mentioned Jun's number, which Natsume doesn't actually have now he realizes and would be rather useful considering that's his 'boyfriend' now. But Natsume doesn't want to receive Jun's number and awkwardly text him first. 

"Can't we just make a groupchat or somethING?" is all Natsume could come up with, hoping to avoid Ibara giving him Jun's phone number and inevitably telling him to talk to Jun. 

Ibara sighed, "unfortunately we cannot. The entire point of it is for you and Jun to keep in contact during the current situation, a groupchat would be useless considering Jun does not participate in any chat activities after a... Certain incident." 

It sounds ominous, but really what had happened was pretty funny now that Ibara thinks about it more. Eden were added into an idol groupchat that had more than just the units he knows of, it also included some senior idols and units who are big in the industry. It seemed like every single day more people would get added to it, with the aim of gathering all the idols and units out there in one place for God knows what reason. Whenever new idols or units would be added, the leader of the groupchat would send a message listing them and their names so all the other idols in the chat can welcome them. 

At one point it had gotten overwhelming for Jun who felt like he had given way too many greetings in one day. He misread a text about the death of an idol as an announcement for this idol being added into their groupchat, and it resulted in him sending a voice messaging welcoming the poor dead man. 

Hiyori was quick to point out Jun's mistake while freaking out as soon as he saw the message, but it was already a little too late as it had been seen by many by then. Luckily, they could all tell it was a mistake so it wasn't like Jun got virtually spat on, and he quickly deleted the message and apologised, but that experience was traumatising enough that Jun now refuses to open any groupchats or speak in them. 

Natsume realizes there really is no escape from this and it will happen eventually, so might as well get it over with. He handed his phone over to Ibara and watched as he tapped on the screen quickly, adding the number in less than a second from memory only, and handing Natsume his phone back. 

"I'm very grateful for your cooperation! You will not regret this, you'll see" Ibara said, standing up and picking up his stuff, "I will see you next week, Natsume-kun". 

And just like that, Ibara was gone. Leaving behind Natsume in a puddle of his own confused feelings and an awful lot of anxiety in his guts.

He and Jun are actually going to do this. What started out as an innocent lie to get himself out of an embarrassing situation is now going to be the publics problem too. Natsume knew by tomorrow Ibara would have finished the task at hand and he would find articles about their relationship on every idol news page, and he doesn't even want to think about how fast the fans will spread the word.

Natsume could only hope that maybe by the end of their collab, the fans would have quieted down and Natsume and Jun could come up with some great plan of fake breaking up to end their fake relationship.  
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Jun doesn't believe in fantasies. He doesn't believe in anything, really. Not even the future.

He doesn't think what's happening right now is his prophecy being fulfilled or something like that.

Was he confused when he went to sleep just fine and ended up seeing Natsume in his dream? Very. But he decided to shrug it off as his inner mind manifesting the thoughts he pushed to the back of his head during the day in the form of a dream while he's unconscious and unable to control his thoughts. It was certainly a strange situation that happened between them, no wonder he'd see a dream about it. It would have been the same if it was anyone else, really.

His mind seems to be even more confused than he himself is though, as the dream started out just like their situation did, it felt like it was caught on tape and now he's rewatching it on a screen with how every single detail is the exact same.

What he expected was for it to end the same way, yet somehow this dream was longer than their strange meeting was. It moved on to a different day, almost like a timeskip, as it seemed like thr two have become more comfortable with each other. Jun would like to speak to whoever is directing this dream because it's plot makes no sense and he wants to file a complaint for how ooc he's written with that stupid smile on his face.

He was also ready to barge in on the set of wherever this dream was being filmed when he saw himself moving in closer to close the gap between him and Natsume.

Everything in the dream started shaking and vibrating like an earthquake as soon as their lips connected, yet it seemed like at the same time it was all normal, and only the version of Jun that's watching the scene play out in front of him as if he doesn't exist and is a mere spectator seems to be affected by it, shaking along until he falls flat on his face and-

He wakes up.

Yet he can still feel the vibrations he felt in his dream.

Looking around the dimly lit room sleepily he tried to connect back with reality and understand what the hells going on. The first thing he notices is his bedside lamp is still on, which is weird because Jun can't sleep with any lights on. His curtains are also forgotten open and are welcoming in more amounts of sunlight than he can handle in his current state. He's also still dressed in his shirt and jeans from earlier yesterday, he didn't even take off his watch. (and he definitely did not instantly check to see if he decided to sleep with his shoes on as well. He didn't though, thankfully brain dead Jun has some common sense as well). He realized after reconnecting with reality that he still feels the vibrations and it's coming from underneath his hand. Just how tired was he yesterday? 

Turning his gaze to the source of the annoying buzzing he realized he fell asleep with his phone still in his hand, and somebody was most likely spamming him.

His first thought is Hiyori spamming selfies, or just dots to get his attention. He sighed as he prepared to find a spam from the only person with the audacity to be this annoying, instead finds a mountain of texts from people he forgot he even had the numbers of. Scrolling through them quickly in confusion, he came to the realization that all the texts had one thing in common, the word 'congratulations'.

'congratulations? On what? Did I win something?' he thought as he landed on a text from Hiyori at last. Except it wasn't what he expected,

From: ohiisan 🙄

'when were you planning on telling me about this?!  
https://ESnews.com/Sazanami_Jun_Sakasaki_Natsume_Dating/2783908904' 

Jun's eyes narrowed at the angry sounding text he received, and decided to click on the link and see just what exactly is going on.

As soon as the page loaded, he was met with the headline image which is a picture of Natsume and a picture of himself next to it, and his eyes fixate on the title above it in big, bold, black letters;

'Leader of Switch Sakasaki Natsume and Sazanami Jun of EDEN announce their relationship?!'

His confusion grows as he reads it over and over again. He makes the mistake of scrolling down to read the article itself, trying to find a hint or a clue as to where this came from exactly. His eyes scanning through the pointless rambling quickly until they land on what he wanted to find,

'This relationship was confirmed by Saegusa Ibara yesterday'.

What the fuck?

Speak of the devil, Jun's phone buzzed again, receiving a text from none other than Ibara. He clicked on it instantly, ready to lash out at him over just who the fuck gave him the right to do this. Ibara's text didn't do much in calming his nerves down,

From: 🐍

'Good morning Jun! I hope you had a good sleep, Eden needs you at your very best after all! If you have not heard the news yet, I do suggest you search up your name on any social media platform. If you have, then I hope you are not too upset about it. I had to make the decision on my own because I knew you would deny it as soon as you hear the words come out of my mouth! You may feel angry right now, but just now this is for the good of Eden, and you will see how it all works out! Please be on your best behaviour when you come to practice later today!'

If Jun's body wasn't still tired and groggy, he might have crushed the phone in his hand. He was not going to let this slide, he was not going to let Ibara think he can play Jun like a fiddle and shove him left and right however he pleases without caring about Jun's own opinion or feelings. Yes, of course he was going to say no, but that's because he doesn't want to be feeding into their fans fantasies by pretending to be in a relationship with someone he doesn't even consider a friend! This was too much, even for Ibara, and Jun found himself opening his contacts and clicking on Hiyori's number. He at least needed the rest of Eden to know he had nothing to do with this decision.

Hiyori picked up on the third ring, instantly greeting Jun with a very loud and angry sounding "Jun-kun!" before starting an endless rant about how betrayed he feels and how he should have been the first to know and how he doesn't even understand when Jun had time to go around and get into relationships when he's literally with him all the time and blah blah blah.

Jun waited until Hiyori's vocabulary ran out, boiling more and more with the urge to scream at him and tell him he didn't want anything to do with this. As soon as he heard Hiyori quiet down, he knew he had to speak fast before Hiyori recharges and starts digging up events that happened years ago too. Next thing you know, that one time Hiyori burned a batch of cookies in the oven 7 months ago is gonna turn out to be the fault of Jun's lies and secret keeping and he was not ready for that.

Jun explained to him in detail everything that happened between him and Natsume, and how its led to the situation they're currently in.

Hiyori listened silently, and remained silent for a few minutes after Jun was done explaining.

He then finally spoke up, "Why did you say yes?"

"... Huh?"

"When he asked you to pretend to be his boyfriend, why did you say yes?"

And that.. Was a good question. Why did he say yes? It was now Jun's turn to go quiet, and think. His thoughts rewind back to the day he walked into the library and Natsume asked him to pretend to date him. Jun isn't the type to want to help out or be nice, especially not at his own expense. He shouldn't have cared less if Natsume needed help out of an embarrassing situation, why did he not think twice before agreeing to help? He can't imagine he would have said yes if it was anyone else. A part of him wonders if he would have done the same if it was Hiyori, then he comes to the conclusion that he can't imagine himself doing something like this for Hiyori either. Maybe it's because it's unlikely, and Hiyori already has someone, and most people already think he's Hiyori's boyfriend. Or maybe because it'd be awkward, he's too close to Hiyori for something like that.

"I... Don't know" is the intelligent conclusion his magnificent brain came to.

He heard Hiyori sigh, "you got yourself into this mess. Ibara isn't to blame, you are. Take responsibility, and deal with it" was all he said, disappointment evident in his voice before he hanged up without another word.

Jun let the phone drop onto his mattress with a frustrated groan, burying his head in his hands.

Was he annoyed at Hiyori's words? Yes. Was Hiyori right? Unfortunately, also yes.

No matter how he tries to pin the blame on Ibara or Natsume or Hiyori he can't deny the fact that this all is his own fault. If he had said no to Natsume he wouldn't have started the fake boyfriend thing, which wouldn't have led Ibara to taking advantage of it, which wouldn't have landed him in this situation.

Hiyori is right, Jun won't get anywhere if he goes and picks a fight with Ibara, the news is already out there and done with. He can't undo it. 

A part of him can't help but wonder just how much of this Natsume was on. Did Natsume know what Ibara was planning on doing and agreed or is he just as clueless?

No point in wondering now, it doesn't matter anymore. 

They have 7 days until the collab, and then everything will go back to normal.   
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Ibara discreetly slipped Natsume's phone number into Jun's phone when he realized Natsume hadn't decided to make the first move and text Jun, and when Jun noticed it he felt annoyed. He could connect two dots and figure out that his own phone number has without a doubt been slipped into Natsume's phone as well, and that it was Natsume's choice to not text him. Is it not bad enough Natsume got them into this mess, now he also doesn't want to take responsibility for it as well? Sure, this was a 50/50 deal, but it seems like Natsume was putting 100% on Jun! (Jun simply chooses to pretend he hasn't texted first either).

Meanwhile, Natsume has been rolling around his bed for a few hours and then pacing around his room for a few more. Should he text? Should he not?

Everytime Natsume opens the messanger and sees Jun's name written at the top of the empty chat, he feels anxiety wash over him. He shouldn't be feeling so small and stupid, this is just professional work and Jun ー as a fellow idol ー should understand that as well. There wasn't anything to be nervous about, what's the worst Jun could do? Lash out at him? Give him the silent treatment? Natsume can handle anything. He's fine.

His fingers tap slowly to form a small word of 'hello' in the chat box, before he decides to erase it, thinking it's a little too ominous. He tries typing out 'hi', before deciding that's also not fitting, it seems too dead, he erases it with his frustration growing. He grits his teeth as he writes out 'hey', but also gets angry at it as it beams bright on his dark screen, taunting him almost. He can't send this either, it's too friendly and casual!

Natsume was about to erase it as well and attempt something else (or give up entirely) when one of his cats decided to enter it's nighttime hysteria and pounce on him where he was laying down on his bed all the way from the floor, the shock causing him to snap out of his thoughts and also accidentally press the send button instead of delete.

The text has gone through.

He sits up straight in panic, ignoring his cat chasing after the one particularly long streak in his hair with it's paws as he rushes to delete the text but alas, he sees the two check marks turn blue, indicating Jun has already opened and seen it.

'hey'??? Really, 'hey'?? That was the most terrible choice! He sounds like a close friend just casually texting him like always, this is the worst possible way he could have started this conversation and sent a greeting!

His heart does somersaults as he feels the phone buzz with a text from Jun.

'Hey. Just in time, I wanted to talk to you about something'.

Well that wasn't very comforting now was it Jun?! How the hell did he manage to make it even worse, this boy's social skills are beyond how terrible Natsume initially thought they were! Was his goal to give Natsume a heart attack so he gets rid of him through natural causes rather than murder which leads to him not having to go through with the fake dating thing?! Because if that's the case then he's doing a great job!

Always so straight forward and right to the point. Doesn't waste any time entertaining others and beating around the bush, does he?

Natsume could feel himself gulp, as he typed out a reply trying to sound as unaffected as possible.

'about?'.

'This situation. I'd rather not speak in public, it'll bring unnecessary attention everyone's waiting for. Can you come over to my house?'

Wow okay Jun slow down, late night rendezvous at your house already?!

'right now?!'

'if you can, I'd prefer that.'

Well, Natsume can, but does Natsume want to? If he had it his way, he wouldn't go at all. Ever. He's not ready to face whatever Jun has to say, because he has a feeling it won't be a love confession or something. He's about to get the floor mopped up with his pride.

Natsume glances at the digital clock in the top right corner of his phone screen. '10:28 p.m', not the ideal time for a meeting discussing idol work, but the ideal time for a murder certainly.

Well, the sooner he gets this over with the better, Natsume doesn't want to stress himself out thinking about this longer than necessary.

With a deep breath, he types his next message out.

'send me your address'.

And he thought 'hello' sounded too ominous?

As soon as Natsume received Jun's address (which Natsume realized isn't his house address but rather the Reimei Academy address) he sighed and closed his phone, throwing it next to him on the bed carelessly. If it breaks it'd be better for him, a free excuse to never speak to anyone again or check any news outlet ever again. He looks at himself through the vanity he has set up across the bed, taking in his appearance. He felt he looked kind of miserable, maybe it's the dull expression on his face. Nothing a little bit of makeup can't fix.

Feeling something soft rub against his hand that was in his lap, he looks down to find his cat draping itself all over his thigh, looking up at him with wide and playful eyes. He softly strokes the black fur instead, not in the mood to play with the cat and knowing it'll get annoyed if he doesn't match it's energy. The cat seemed content enough, rubbing closer to his palms and purring, which brings a small smile to his face. Ah, a cats life is so simple.  
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Arriving at his destination (after spending an embarrassing amount of time trying to navigate towards the dorms and find Jun's) Natsume felt the same dread as his finger hovered above the wooden door in front of him as he did an hour ago when he was trying to send Jun a text. He had a bad feeling about this entire situation but his mind is so clouded right now that he can't tell if it's an actual warning or if he's just so stressed and filled with anxiety that he can't differentiate between a prediction and his fear.

... Fear? Sakasaki Natsume, afraid?! No. What's there to be afraid of?! Worst case scenario, Jun kills him. And if he does, then at least he can know for a fact that it would be a quick and rather merciful death because Jun, being a straight forward and no-nonsense person wouldn't waste time torturing Natsume or letting the crime take longer than necessary. He'd probably stab Natsume right in the heart, or headshot him as soon as he walks through with some gun he stole from Ibara, whatever his choice is, Natsume wouldn't even have enough time to process it let alone feel it, so he can scratch fearing that off his list! Best case scenario, Jun actually wants to make this work and play along for the sake of their fans, which is great for Natsume so he doesn't have to stress about Jun's feelings and reactions and can stick to professionalism! There! Problems solved!

With a sudden burst of temporary confidence after that empowering, albeit concerning peptalk, he knocked hard down on the door and heard it faintly resonate in his mind, like a fading record on repeat.

His mind starting functioning again and his heart echoed along to the sound of the long gone knocks as if they were a call for his doom and it was the only sound his ears could register as suddenly everything else blurred out around him. He regrets it, and considers turning around and running away, but Jun opened the door so fast that if Natsume didn't know any better he'd say Jun remained behind the door waiting for him since they agreed on the meeting, he's as quick to opening doors as he is to opening texts! Why's he so quick at everything?!

As soon as they made eye contact, Natsume felt a shiver run down his spine involuntary. Um, hey body? Would you mind asking for permission next time before you decide to make moves on your own please? Yeah that'd be appreciated, thanks.

The look on Jun's face was unreadable, as always. And in the current moment, it felt more frustrating to Natsume than it usually is. Natsume relies on his wits based on how he interprets the situation, which is always by reading the expressions and body language of the other person. He could figure it how they're feeling and use it to his advantage, his confidence grows an incredible amount when he feels like he has emotional control over the situation and the other person and it's how he manages to provoke and intimidate people with only his words, but it's impossible with Jun! He could never read him, he could never understand him and use his own feelings against him, and he desperately needs that feeling of power and control right now because he feels so small and weak underneath that empty yet sharp golden gaze that mirrors his own in color and shape yet not in feelings and depth.

Jun stepped aside, a silent invitation for Natsume to step in which he took.

His eyes automatically started scanning around the small room. It was pretty fancy for an Academy dorm actually, and Natsume found himself pondering over what it'd be like if Yumenosaki had dorms too, that sounded like it'd be nice. Until he remembered he most likely won't be able to choose who his roommate would be and could be assigned someone he can't stand (which is about half the school). Like for example, and God forbid, that composing addicted weirdo who holds the leader title of Knights! Natsume doesn't think he'd be able to handle him without a few murder attempts. If he had to pick a random student he thinks wouldn't be that bad as a roommate, he'd say maybe Nito Nazuna. They're not exactly close, but what he's seen from his senior tells him the older boy is responsible and mature as long as his height is kept out of the conversation topic. But the possibility of dorms being installed into Yumenosaki at this point is extremely unlikely so there's no point in wondering and wasting time and energy on thoughts like this.

Natsume notices a second bed ー meaning Jun has a roommate that isn't around currently ー with a small puppy sleeping on it. The animal lover in him wanted to ignore Jun's existence and go spend time with the dog instead, but the sound of someone clearing their throat behind Natsume reminds him that he's here for a reason and that he should be prepared right now for anything (and maybe if he spent less time thinking about possible roommates and cute dogs he would have instead looked for possible objects that could be used as weapons and exit routes in case this takes a turn for the worst!).

With a hard swallow, Natsume turns around to face Jun, and he only hopes his expression doesn't betray his nervousness, and is instead as steady and neutral as Jun's (maybe if Jun attended Yumenosaki, Wataru would have tried to recruit him into the theater club. That wouldn't be very bad actually, Natsume finds it'd be pretty nice to have Jun around in the theater club he often goes to either for the purpose of annoying Hokuto or spending time with his ex-Shishou. Actually, it wouldn't be that bad having Jun at Yumenosaki in general. Especially considering it's highly likely they'd be in the same class too!... Wait what the fuck is he thinking right now?). Jun sighs before speaking, and Natsume finds himself wishing he never did.

"To be honest, I'm not really happy about seeing you or having you here, but there wasn't any other way I could say this to you without capturing the attention of those fans who want nothing more than pointless fanservice." oh boy. "I'm also not happy about the situation you got us into."

Wait, now hold on who the fuck does he think he is speaking to Natsume like that?!

"Excuse mE? I-"

"No. This time, you'll listen to me. Maybe I'm to blame partially because I mindlessly said yes to helping you out for some goddamn reason I can't figure out, but you are the main reason we're even in this situation, and I can't name a single good thing about this."

With every word from the other boy, Natsume can feel himself gritting his teeth harder and harder and he knows for a fact he's going to get a headache later on from the combined power of his harshly narrowed eyebrows and his hardly gritted teeth.

"I don't care about fanservice. I don't care about attracting more fans through a method like this. Maybe if it was Ohiisan or even Ibara they would have agreed for the sake of their image, but personally I feel like mine is going down the drain this way."

And what the hell's that supposed to mean?!

"Are you trying to say I'm ruining your reputatION?" he couldn't hold back how venomous the words sounded, burning his tongue before rolling off of it into Jun's direction. "if anythiNG, you should be thanking mE! Have you seen what place your name trended after Ibara-kun released the nEWS? When's the last time you saw that happen and it wasn't the result of some reckless or problematic behaviOUR!"

Jun was no stranger to receiving hate and criticism on the Internet, he's not the ideal type of idol like Hiyori or Ibara or Nagisa. He came to the conclusion that no matter what he does it won't please people enough, he should have learned that through personal experiences before even becoming an idol, and there will always be a balance of people who'll hate him no matter how great he is and people who will love him even if he kills a man in broad daylight. Why should be bothering faking anymore? He'll do his job as it is but he won't go above and beyond to feed the twisted and delusional fantasies of his fanbase, which mostly consists of hormonal teenage girls. This situation is an inconvenience, it's a call for him to act and pretend, a source of delusion feeding, and he doesn't want to pull such a 180 degrees.

But now that he stops to think about it, maybe he let his frustration take hold of his thoughts and lead him to saying some unnecessary things. He has to calm down and remind himself that Natsume is an idol too, Natsume is a part of this situation too, Natsume is human too. And that he might be just as upset about this as Jun is, and yet Jun's the one throwing a temper tantrum.

Jun knows how to read others, and through the steadily rising angry expression on the others face, he can also find hints of hurt.

He hurt his fake boyfriends feelings, he's such a gentleman.

"I didn't...- that's not what I'm trying to say! I-"

"nO, I've heard enoUGH, and I think it's more than obvious what you're trying to sAY." was the last thing Natsume said before pushing past Jun and heading towards the door with heavy footsteps, Jun catching a glimpse of Natsume's expression changing into one of sadness more than before, his mask of annoyance crumbling the closer he steps to the door and far away from Jun.

In a state of panic, Jun reaches out and grabs Natsume by his wrist, holding him in place firmly considering his strength is much more than Natsume's. He doesn't want to let Natsume leave upset, and he doesn't want to ruin this.

He doesn't even know why. Why did he call Natsume over? Wasn't it to express his annoyance over this situation and put an end to it? Then how come he's holding him back, trying to fix his mistake, and not wanting to actually end this? How can he expect Natsume to understand his feelings and intentions when he doesn't understand them himself? Why is he so confused and why is he taking it out on Natsume? Is he tired of looking in the mirror and calling himself out on his flaws, so he decided to do it to someone else?

"Wait! If you would just let me expla-"

Natsume, surprisingly, was able to snap his wrist back out of Jun's grip. "there's nothing left for you to explAIN! I understAND, and I'll speak with Ibara-kun about iT! So you don't have to inconvenience yourself any furt-..." his sentence trails off into silence when he feels his wrist get grabbed again and his entire gravity shifting as his body sways forward so easily into the grip that pulled him down into a firm and steady chest, strong arms instantly wrapping around him tightly.

His mind that was racing at extreme speeds suddenly crashes into a wall that materialised in front of it out of thin air. No thoughts were able to get formed neither on their own nor by will. Natsume was at a loss for words and thoughts.

His senses seem to be working extra hard now that his brains shut down though, as he can feel heat rise in every part of his body and he can't tell if it's from his own self or from the unbearable warmth of Jun's body against his. He can smell the scent of whatever Jun has sprayed on, it was a weird combination. Something like misty mens deodorant, mixed with expensive perfume he's certain he's smelled on Hiyori before, and the faint scent of sweat. It wasn't exactly unpleasant, but it was too much. Especially right now when everything feels too much and too overwhelming. He could feel Jun's breath on his neck and it wasn't helping his case of 'my face feels like it's on fire' at all!

On the other hand, Jun's brain is also experiencing maintenance shutdown as nothing functions anymore after he made the impulsive move of pulling Natsume into a hug. He didn't know what to do anymore, really. He pissed Natsume off with some poorly chosen sentences and was two steps away from having the redhead never speak to him again and ruining the chances of this ever becoming an actual friendship. Natsume didn't even slow down for Jun to try and calm him, and Jun was never good with feelings anyway, that was Hiyori's job not his! Which is exactly what landed him in this situation. He remembered how Hiyori calms him down when he's out of his head and behaving foolishly. Hiyori pulls him into a hug and whispers random shit to him until he stops struggling and gives into it, calming down and forgetting his worries.

Except.. This feels awfully different from hugging Hiyori, actually...

Jun hadn't realized he said that out loud until he felt Natsume start struggling to get out of his firm grip. "let go of mE, you weirDO!"

"only if you'll stay!"

"whatevER, whatevER! Just let me gO!"

Jun took it as a yes. Or as close as it could be to a yes, and let go of Natsume. The other boy instantly taking a few steps back and social distancing from Jun so he doesn't get pulled back into another hug that gave Natsume an extreme case of heart palpitations. Natsume kept his gaze on the floor, his arms wrapped around himself defensively, while Jun shoved his hands into his pockets and tried to look at anything except the boy in front of him.

Jun figured he's fucked up enough for one night, and decided maybe it's time for a moment of honesty. This has been a mess from start to finish, and if he wants to earn Natsume's trust, he needs to show at least a little bit of himself. What's he got to lose?

"To be honest I'm... Not really the best when it comes to feelings and communication" he picked as a start.

"I can tELL." came a sarcastic reply, followed by a scoff.

It's okay. Slow progress. "I don't know the first thing about love or relationships."

"you're making this weIRD. Don't forgET, we're not actually datING, Sazanami-kUn" right. Right. He has a point. Jun is overreacting for no reason.

"Yeah but.. If we're going to pretend, don't I at least need to know what I should do?" he doesn't even know why he's saying the shit he's saying anymore or why these pointless words are leaving his mouth with barely any thought given into the weight they carry and the consequences they could bring when Jun could have just stayed up till some God forsaken hour overthinking it or just gave up and asked Hiyori about it or something. This entire night has such a strange vibe to it, but somehow he doesn't feel lonely.

This isn't an ideal situation to end up in, and he can't exactly say the two of them are very happy right now ー both individually and towards each other ー yet the constantly lingering feeling of loneliness that never leaves him isn't there right now ..

"weLL... I.. Don't exactly know what I'm doing eitHER.."

Oh God, progress?!

"I'm not exactly a love expeRT. I push everyone away before they get a chance to get that cloSE..."

Jun found that line resonating with him more than it should have and it strikes a thought into his head; maybe they're not that different after all.

"buT... We're in this together sO... We'll learn togethER, how does that souND?"

Natsume is simply talking about how they can go about this fake dating situation, yet somehow it feels like a sincere moment between the two. Almost like a confirmation of a bond, and Jun hated the way his heart skipped a beat when Natsume made eye contact with him again. Instead of a sharp glare or masked annoyance, there is an almost vulnerable light in them.

That sounds... "good."

Jun smiled at the other boy. "That sounds good, great. I think we can do this".

Natsume offered a small smile only out of politeness for a second, before his lips dropped down to a straight line again. "this shouldn't last long enough to bother yOU. We are only in this for a weEK, and then we can pretend to break uP."

Somehow those words stung a little, but Jun didn't want to think about that. He pushed it to the back of his mind before nodding. "Sounds good, too."

They stood there like that for a few more seconds, each one staring into a different direction ー lost in thought ー before Natsume noticed the time on his wristwatch.

"I have to go nOW, otherwise my mommy will get upsET"

Jun managed to suppress the smile that tried tugging on his lips when he heard the other boy refer to his mother like that. Jun wouldn't know what it feels like.

"I'll walk you out" he offered, already walking towards the door and holding it open for Natsume before he could protest. Natsume followed him wordlessly.

This wasn't going to be easy for either one of them, but they just had to keep reminding themselves that it's only for one week.

And the countdown begins now.

**Author's Note:**

> I doubt anybody got it so here's an explanation,,   
> 6960 is NGC 6960, also known as The Witch's Broom Nebula! It's name seemed fitting considering Natsume's involvement in magic, and his love for space,, and also!! It's red and blue! :)  
> Also I'm pretty sure the natsume n Ibara interactions were ooc but I didn't know how to actually get to the point if natsume was gonna be at ibaras neck the whole time so,,,


End file.
